How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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