So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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