and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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