addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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