my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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