Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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