Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
