UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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