go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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