If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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