forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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