Ketchup is God's man juice
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
