I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
