About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
