Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
