so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
