You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
