i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
