I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
