I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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