A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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