she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
