After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
