I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
