My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
