i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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