Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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