FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
