im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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