I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
