you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize