i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
