Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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