I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
