Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
