He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
