ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
