Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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