We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
