Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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