you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
