Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize