It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My ass is underappreciated
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
