Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there's paper in my vomit.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
