so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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