I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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