I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
