She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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