just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
