just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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