um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
