There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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