just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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