"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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