please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
