I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
