I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
