Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
