We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
