Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
