I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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