she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
