grandma shit on top of the toilet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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