sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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