he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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