i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
