so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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