he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
