he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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