xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize