she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
