Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
