You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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