And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
