remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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