I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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