I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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