the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
