she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My balls are so social today.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
