You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
